CHOOSE TO LIVE AND NOT DIE

Connect to Your Destiny

I have found in my research and study that, no matter what a person’s belief system is, most agree that our thoughts shape our life and destiny. There is a clear connection between thinking and behavior and, a person’s behavior is always connected to the outcome of that person’s life.

Those who believe in God, believe that our origins are in Him, and because our lives have their origins in God, our lives also have real purpose. We were created for a reason, with forethought and intentionality. We came from somewhere and we are definitely going somewhere. However, in spite of our origins and God’s specific plan, the fact remains that we hold the keys to our own destiny.

Colleen Moore has a website where she shares information, advice, and positive perspective. One story that caught my eye was about a man named Michael. Michael was one who could easily get under your skin. He was too nice, too happy, and too good. He always found a way to see the positive in every situation, even if it was a negative situation or conversation. Michael was asked by one of his coworkers, “How can you be so positive all the time?” Michael explained that his attitude was a choice. He had learned that both good and bad are going to happen, but that he had the power to choose whether he would be a positive person or a negative person regardless of circumstances. He decided he did not want to waste his life waiting for things to change so he adopted the mindset to be positive every day.

Sometime after this conversation, the lady who had asked Michael about his consistently upbeat demeanor decided to follow up and see how he was doing. It turned out Michael had been severely injured in an accident. He had fallen sixty feet from a communications tower. He had endured eighteen hours of surgery and a lengthy stay in an ICU. He survived the fall, but was destined to live the rest of his life with discomfort and limited mobility. When she was able to connect face to face with Michael, she asked how he was. His response? “If I were any better, I’d be twins.” Then he offered to show her his scars!

As they talked about the accident, he told her that when he was laying on the ground, his first thought went to his soon-to-be-born daughter. His second thought was that he had two choices: he could choose to live, or he could choose to die. He told her that the paramedics were great, successfully getting him to the hospital and encouraging him on the way, but when they wheeled him into emergency and he saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses. That’s when he got really scared. He could see in their eyes, “He’s a dead man.” As the nurse was excitedly interviewing him to prep him for surgery, she asked if he was allergic to anything. He responded with “yes” and the room got quiet as everyone listened for what he was allergic to. He took a deep breath in that moment and said, “Gravity”. Then, over their laughter, he told them, “I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.” Michael pulled through - seriously wounded from the accident - but fully alive in every sense of the word and fully convinced that his choices made the difference between life and death.

In Matthew 8:13 (NASB), Jesus stated, “It shall be done for you as you have believed.” This tells me that there is a fixed law in God’s creation. It says beliefs lead to aftereffects, and thoughts lead to outcomes. Therefore, we can build our lives on this law. We can “bank” on this law just like we bank on the outcome of gravity! Make your choice today. People who comprehend the connection between their thinking and their behavior, their beliefs and the outcome of their lives will taste the ultimate life.

GETTING THE RESULTS YOU WANT

Invest in Yourself

Today I want to talk about the principle of sowing and reaping. Have you ever heard the old saying, “Garbage in, garbage out?” Being aware of our choices and making sure we watch, listen, read and talk to people who feed our vision and goals is time well spent.

Think of it this way - the human mind is a lot like farmland. It is fertile and capable of producing an abundant harvest. Both the human mind and farmland will embrace what is planted and both will exponentially reproduce what has been planted. So my question to you is, what are you planting in your mind? Are you planting life or are you planting mediocrity and eventual defeat?

The mind, as is the rest of the body and your soul, are fearfully and wonderfully made. It is capable of amazing things. However, we have control over what we are planting in our amazing mind and we need to be aware that what we plant matters. Galatians 6:7 validates the theory, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” Another way to say it is, that the life of a person will become precisely the outgrowth of what has been sown - by others as well as each individual sower. Each person must ultimately be responsible for everything his or her mind absorbs, retains, and reproduces.

Considering the story of Romeo and Juliet is worthwhile at this point. Do you know the story? Feuding families, boy from one and girl from another fall in desperate love with each other. But, “knowing” their families would never consent to their union, they decide to secretly marry. However, before they can coordinate their getaway, Juliet’s father arranges for her to marry another. Yikes! What to do! Instead of rethinking what they were doing and why they were doing it, instead of considering the potential cost to this relationship and actually talking to their fathers with the friar’s help to see if an agreement could be reached, they decide to pretend to die?! And then they actually die? Each of their decisions set in motion a series of events that led to the outcome of the story. A person’s thinking leads to certain predictable results. Romeo and Juliet were raised in an environment of hatred and manipulation, enmity and intrigue. Nothing good could have come from all the violence, hatred, lying and deception that dominated the families’ thinking and existence. The ideas and views planted in their minds bore an abhorrent harvest.

Your mind will reproduce the seeds you plant. You will reap what you sow after you sow it, and you will reap more than you sow. There is work in the process of sowing, so don’t think you will reap an immediate harvest. An investment of time and resources is required. And, you are worth it! Make choices today that will pay off in exponential ways in your future. You will end up where you end up in life because that is where you want to be. If you hope to do great things with your life, you need to start appreciating the force of your own mind. You have within you what is needed to go almost anywhere and do almost anything and be just about anything you could possibly want to be. But just as that seed planted in the farmland is small, so are the deposits you make in your mind on a daily basis. As those seeds take root, develop and mature, the results will be manifested in time.

Get to know the power of your own mind. There are mysteries in this process that are worthy of your exploration.

THE DRIVER OF YOUR SUCCESS

The Secret to Your Ultimate Life

I have discovered that hard work is not the key to success. It is most certainly a factor but it is not the key. Intelligence also does not determine success. Some of the most successful people are not necessarily the most intelligent. The foundational key is vision. Vision undergirds a person’s special qualities and causes their strengths to work together in a way that can help them succeed.

This reminds me of my friend James. It is really a cool story and remarkable in its own way. However, it demonstrates how most people function in life. James’ father had a close friend that he grew up with. The two friends got married around the same time and as things worked out, one of them had a girl and one of them had a boy not too long after they each married. As these two friends, let’s call them Bobby and Nelson, met occasionally and spent time together, their young children played together, took naps together, and were as close as if they were family. Bobby eventually joined the Air Force and moved away. He would come back occasionally to visit his parents in the town where Nelson still lived, but they eventually lost contact as Bobby traveled and moved around. One tragic day, Bobby’s family was notified that he’d been declared deceased sometime after he’d been stationed in Vietnam. However, his family still visited Bobby’s parents.

My friend James (Nelson’s son) happened to reconnect with Bobby’s daughter one summer when she was visiting her grandparents. In getting acquainted, and through conversations with Nelson, they discovered they had known each other as young children. As they found time to hang out together, Bobby’s daughter invited James to meet at the beach where she and her mom planned to rent a house and stay the weekend. Bobby’s widow was dating again and the gentleman offered to let James stay in his hotel room. The arrangement was that the gentleman would leave the door unlocked and James could slip in when the beach party was over and have a place to stay the night. However, James forgot the room number. Picture this, a teenager, late at night at a motel trying to find an unlocked door. Oh dear.

They had a remarkable set up. James and Bobby’s daughter seemed destined to reconnect. Not only did they reconnect, but actually enjoyed spending time together enough that they would arrange the overnight beach outing. But in the end, James is searching for his place to stay in the middle of the night trying not to get arrested! He did find an unlocked door, crawled into bed in the dark and hoped it was the right room! So, this is the point. So many people travel through life this way. They may have an amazing opportunity, but without vision and goals to achieve that vision, they are jiggling handles on doors with unknown occupants, hoping something meaningful will open up to them. Every momentous decision in their lives is a shot in the dark. They’re just feeling their way through the darkness hoping they somehow magically stumble across the pot of gold that could suddenly make their lives better.

People who succeed are driven by something invisible. They are driven by a dream, a vision that calls for self-denial, self-control, and self-discipline. Vision is the motivation of a successful person’s life and goals are all the tiny steps that a person must take to achieve that passion within their heart. People reach their destinies by reaching their goals, and achieving goals is a clear indication that they are making progress toward those destinies. As you set goals and follow through on those goals, they will lead you to the places you want to go.

The secret to the ultimate life isn’t really a secret at all; it’s just something we rarely consider. It’s about the presence or absence of a vision in your life and the thoughts (goals) that either give rise to a budding vision or destroy that vision before it can grow. It’s about mindset. We eventually become what we think, and we eventually achieve what we think about in our hearts and in our minds. If we are setting goals that are fashioned toward achieving a vision, the passion of our hearts, we are driven toward success and a future that we can be fulfilled by.

BRAVERY IS ALL IT IS CRACKED UP TO BE

Reject the Comfortable Path

I have said it before, and I will say it again. If you want something different, you have to do something different. You have to break away from conforming and pursue that vision and passion that will fulfill you and make a difference in the world. To do this you must overcome the pull from the world around you to be mediocre.

I love Natalie Coughlin's story as an example of the bravery it takes to overcome. She swam in the Summer Olympics in 2004 and won two gold medals, two silver and one bronze. She also broke a world record. In 2008 she became the first American female athlete to win six medals in a single Olympics. However, because of the wear and tear on her body, she was forced to endure two shoulder surgeries soon after the 2008 Olympics. Typically, someone in this position would expect to retire, or at best still compete but at a lower level. However, Coughlin bravely stepped out of competitive swimming for 18 months to rebuild. She found coach, Teri McKeever, who helped her get back into the elite level of swimming using an unusual approach. Instead of concentrating on rebuilding strength in her upper body, they focused on legs, used Pilates and strengthened the connection between her arms and legs through the core of her body, enhancing her physical abilities for competitive swimming. In 2012, she qualified for the Olympics and took home a twelfth Olympic medal, tying the record for the most Olympic medals for a female US athlete.

If you want to be different, you have to think differently. Break out of the mold. Turn away from doing things the same way everyone else is doing them. People who excel are intentional. They decide on their destination, assess and learn what it will take to get there, find the right people to speak into their journey, and then do what’s necessary to find their way there. A successful person says, “I’m going to do this,” and then starts the process and actually walks the walk – instead of just talking the talk.

Vision evolves but successful people set the destination, work to arrive at that destination, sacrificing time and resources along the way, reevaluate the destination, correct course, sacrifice more time and resources, etc. John Maxwell has stated that there are people who want to be what he is – a successful author, a renowned speaker, a coveted mentor, and much more. But his reaction to someone who has that dream is “Are you willing to do what I did?”

Once you have a clear vision, develop the plan, begin taking the steps and then be prepared to actively reject everything that works to hold you back. You will be told you can’t do it. You will be told it’s too much, too hard, not worth it. But I think, if it is a vision and a passion within you, that there is possibly a higher purpose that is attached to it and it is absolutely worth exploring and pursuing. In fact, the more obstacles you face, the more likely you are to come up with a new way of accomplishing what you have in your heart to accomplish. Reject the comfortable path and be courageous.

An adult wants to know that his or her life has counted for something; that their life has made a difference in the world. Do you want to live an extraordinary life, do extraordinary things, achieve your goals and leave your mark on the world? Then you will have to do what others aren’t doing – as early as possible. If you wait for the rest of the world to find value in the things you want to do, those things won’t be worth doing any longer. Muster courage to forego fitting in with those around you and pursue your heart’s passion. If you do, you will find yourself in places others dared not to go.

WHAT IS THE POINT?

Don't Settle for the Parade

I am convinced the biggest hurdle in life is in our mind. I’m not saying that we don’t all have other obstacles and/or challenges in our everyday life. I am saying that we must shift our mindset, grow our mindset, and develop our mindset, if we want to change our future. If we want to grow, if we want to move past the obstacles that have hindered us from reaching success in the past, if we want to change the trajectory of our life, we must learn to think differently.

Let me explain. I’m reminded of a story of a little boy named Tommy. Tommy was so excited when he learned the circus was coming to town. He loved the idea of the circus. It was just after WW II and he was an only child of parents who did not have anything to spare. Because of Tommy’s excitement, Tommy’s parents decided to stretch finances and scrape money together so he could go to see the circus.

Finally, the day came. Tommy got all of his chores done early and cleaned up to get ready to go. He planned to see all the circus offered - the ringmaster, performers, clowns, and animals - everything he had been dreaming of. As was tradition, the circus paraded through town on that first day and Tommy made sure he got there in time to line up near the edge of the parade route and watch as they walked by. Initially, he realized he could hear the band and then, to his great joy, he saw them coming - the ringmaster and elephants, the acrobats and lions. He had never experienced anything like it and certainly could not have imagined the grandeur and energy he was witnessing as the parade passed by.

At last, the parade finale approached with the troupe of clowns bringing the parade to a close. The clowns were the best part of the procession yet. As they brought up the rear of the circus parade, Tommy did something no one could have predicted. He walked up to one of the clowns and gave the clown his precious admission for the circus and went home. Tommy started out with a thrilling vision of what he thought would be the greatest day of his young life, but he settled for something far less.

What is the point people are missing? People miss the point when they have no purpose, no clear vision. They are being tossed by the waves of circumstances and situations they find themselves in. Sometimes good things happen and sometimes bad things happen. They make their way through life the same as millions of others so that, when they compare themselves to others, they can honestly say, “My life isn’t so bad; I’ve done OK.”

I have a different view. Tommy’s vision fell short. If he really wanted to see the circus in its fullness, he needed to buy a ticket and sit through the show. The show was planned well so that there would be surprise, amazing feats, thrills, and a high point he would remember for the rest of his life. But because his vision was not explored and developed, he really was content to only see the people and animals of the circus simply tumble, dance and walk past him in a parade.

Have there been times in your life when you were content with just the crumbs from the table, or the parade without the show? Our vision needs to be clear. It needs to birth passion and promote drive within us. It needs to call upon all of our talents and abilities to be achieved. If our vision is not driving us in this way, I don’t think it is true vision. We need to actively pursue those dreams that reside in us and we should never settle for less than those dreams. We need to find information, counsel, and mentors who can help us expand the imagination of our heart. Be transparent with those who can speak into your life. Invest time reading and listening to those who have gone before you. Try and fail and then try again. Investigate and stretch. The resulting dream could be right at the end of the parade and the beginning of a thrilling success.

WHAT MATTERS MOST

What Is Real?

As you contemplate the habits you would like to form in your life and as you use the information in Make That, Break That to help you do it, I want you to pay close attention to the habits you choose to nurture. It takes time to develop a new habit and to make that habit a permanent and subconscious fixture in your behavior. For that reason, you should choose your habits wisely, because the habits you choose to form will reveal your true priorities in life.

Some people will want to develop habits designed to preserve their health. Others will develop habits that can advance their careers. Some will seek to nurture habits of financial advancement. And still others will form habits that can make their lives more organized and a little easier to manage. But when all is said and done, there are really only three things that matter in this life. As you grow older and as you begin to focus more intently on those things that matter most, you will begin to focus more on your relationship with God, your relationships with the people you love, and your relationship with the destiny God has given you to fulfill.

As the end of your life grows closer, you won’t care about the size of your house or all the “Employee of the Year” plaques that hang on your wall. You will only care about the things that matter most, because these are the “real” things in life, the things that will endure beyond your lifetime and truly count when you stand before God.

So as you consider the habits you would like to develop in your life, think on these things, because these are the things that really count. These are the things that can bring you true joy in this life and significance throughout eternity.

THE ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING

Manage It Well

Next to health, I don’t know any other area of life that causes people more concern than money. Solomon wrote in the Bible, “Money is the answer for everything” (Ecclesiastes 10:19, NIV). And what he meant by that statement is that money, properly handled, can solve many of the problems we experience in life. With an ample supply of money and with the wisdom to use it rightly, a person is more likely to be happy, healthy, and fulfilled. But with an insufficient supply of money, the problems of life are multiplied.

This is why it is so important for us to develop good financial habits in our lives. Some of us spend money emotionally. Others of us stay in debt because we have no ability to delay our own gratification. Still others fail to save or invest, because they do not understand the combined power of time and compound interest. And still others have no idea where their money goes. They make a lot, but they spend more than they make, and they have no idea how it disappears so quickly.

But while some people live beneath their full potential financially, others have nurtured habits that serve them well in this important aspect of life. These people have learned to respect money and to understand how it can work for them instead of against them if they will only practice those behaviors of earning and spending that have proven to be reliable over the centuries. So in Make That, Break That, I explore the benefits of developing good financial habits. Nothing can cause more stress in a family than a lack of money or the waste of it. But nothing can create more satisfaction than being able to live free from stress while enriching the lives of those you love through the wealth God has entrusted to you.

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