Pursuing Your Destiny

What is your destiny? That is probably the ultimate question regarding your earthly life. God created each person for a reason, so each individual has a purpose that he (or she) was designed to fulfill in this world. And happy is the person who understands the destiny he is designed to pursue.

But if you are among the fortunate few who have already answered the most important question regarding your earthly life, you need to ask yourself just one more question: What habits are you going to develop to help you achieve the destiny God created you to fulfill?

Your destiny in life is no more guaranteed that your destination on any journey. A flight from Washington to London, for example, is never guaranteed to land on time in the right location. It takes a lot of planning to get from Washington to London by air. And the pilots, the ground crew, the flight attendants, the ticket agents, the security personnel, the flight controllers, the mechanics, the service staff, and the runway team have to perform all their various tasks with precision and expertise so your flight can land at Heathrow Airport at the time they told you it would.

So if a simple flight takes that much planning and that much coordination, the course you have set for your life will take just as much effort. Your success won’t happen by accident. And the primary key to your success will be the habits you nurture along the way, because your habits will determine which direction you go and the speed with which you travel. Good habits will lead to a successful journey; bad habits will lead to a lot of unexpected detours and mechanical failures along the way.

So create good habits today in order to guarantee your arrival tomorrow. Success is the byproduct of your repetitive actions.

Habits That Enrich Our Lives

The word “habit” has a negative connotation in our world today. Everybody knows that it is a bad thing to have a “smoking habit” or a “drug habit,” and nobody wants to be known as a “habitual offender.” But habits don’t have to be bad. If our brains can compel us to learn bad habits and to practice them subconsciously without even thinking about them, our brains also can be utilized to help us learn good habits that can enrich our lives.

If you don’t have the good habits you want in your life, you will have to nurture those habits. And that is relatively easy to do once you understand the process that your brain goes through in order to make a behavior habitual. In fact, the same brain that led the way in the formation of those bad habits you wish you could eliminate can also help you create the kind of good habits you admire in others.

Habits don’t have to be unpleasant, and they don’t have to be destructive. The right kinds of habits can actually improve your life and contribute to your health and happiness. And while you may be painfully aware of how difficult it is to eliminate a bad habit, the good news is that a good habit, once formed, can be just as persistent and just as reliable in your life.

So rather than despising the way that God made you, take advantage of it. Learn how to harness the natural inclinations of your own body and brain in order to form the kinds of habits that can make your life better. Eating healthy is a habit, not a discipline. And exercise is a habit, not a chore. Likewise, thrift and courtesy and industriousness and good parenting are habits a person acquires over the years. Good habits await those who will make them.

Self-discipline & Habits

What is the role of self-discipline when it comes to habit formation? Self-disciple must play some role in the development of new behaviors, because the apostle Paul said, “I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so … I will not be disqualified for the prize” (I Corinthians 9:26, NIV).

Self-discipline, therefore, is the fuel that drives the formation of new habits, because nothing new is ever established in our lives without the initial surge of energy that comes from self-discipline. Whether it’s a highly desired personal achievement, virtuosity in the arts, or an outstanding performance in school or in one’s chosen sport, the journey toward any worthy achievement can only be initiated through self-disciple.

The bad news of course is that self-discipline only goes so far. Our experience teaches us and scientific research confirms that self-discipline is a powerful tool when it comes to making personal changes. But a person’s sense of self-discipline is designed to run dry rather quickly, because we humans just aren’t equipped with the ability to force ourselves to do things long-term that we really don’t want to do.

The good news, however, is that by utilizing principles of habit formation, we can use self-discipline to get a new habit started in our lives. Then, after a few weeks, that behavior can become habitual for us. It can become subconscious and “automatic,” requiring no effort on our part.

So instead of laboring to make yourself do what you know you ought to do, learn to use the “habit loop” to your advantage so you can create a permanent regimen of good behaviors in your life. In Make That, Break That, I will teach you how to do this. For now, however, just know that positive behaviors are easier when they become habits in your life.

Everybody loves Jesus, right? I've never ever had a conversation with anyone who thought he was a jerk. He healed people, loved people, and cared for the outcast. He died a horrible death because he believed that he could save our souls. Even if someone doesn't believe the story at all, you can't not like Jesus. So what's the problem? The problem is a lot of people love Jesus, they just don't want to follow Him, and they're not interested in Him. Why is that? It's because they're not getting Jesus represented to them well. Jesus loves us and He died for us, but for a few weeks, I'd like to look at the side of Jesus that should make the church pause and pay attention, ANGRY JESUS Just to be clear, anger is not a sin. Paul said, “In your anger do not sin.” And Jesus, that everybody loves, one time made a whip, went into the temple, and drove out the money changers and overturned tables. This Jesus told people it would be better for them to have a rope tied around their neck with a two-ton rock attached and thrown into the sea. This Jesus called people names like “brood of vipers”, “unmarked graves”, and “sons of hell”.

Jesus definitely said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” He said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. I am gentle and humble in heart." I think the world's idea that Jesus was nice is correct, so what do you do with “you snakes”, “you brood of vipers” and “how will you escape being condemned to hell”? This is Jesus too. Sometimes Jesus' words were sharp and biting.When the son of God gets mad, we should pay attention because we can learn a lot about a person from the things they don't like. So, who was He mad at? Well, that's the kicker. I always knew Jesus was mad at the Pharisees, Sadducees, and teachers of the law. Then one day I realized the Pharisees and the Sadducees and the teachers of the law were the church leaders of their day, and Jesus was a part of that church. As a matter of fact, this was the church that God set up. They were the people appointed by God for the purpose of enacting God's system of religion. When that realization hit me like a ton of bricks, I began to wonder if there was anything that caused Jesus to be mad at His church back in the day, that might be my issue as a current church leader. I discovered four basic attitudes that were the problem: legalism, judgmentalism, hypocrisy, and indifference to suffering. Those were the four things that flipped Jesus’ switch. In fact, we still have problems with those things today. 

Who's Your Friend?

When you want to relax and have fun, what kind of people do you spend your time with? When you go out to dinner with friends, what kind of friends do you choose? Our friends tell us everything about us, because people tend to choose friends who reflect their own values.

No man wants to feel uncomfortable when he is playing golf with another man, and no woman wants to feel uncomfortable when she is shopping with another woman. So when a person wants to relax, that person will instinctively select a companion who wants to talk about the things that interest him and wants to do the things that make her happy. To look at your friends, therefore, is to look in a mirror. We choose friends who reflect our personal interests.

This is why, in the Bible, the apostle Paul could say, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’” Two things happen when we spend lots of time with other people. First, we choose people who already reflect most of our priorities and morals. And second, we adopt the remaining priorities and morals of those with whom we spend our time. We become like them.

So one of the best habits you could develop to make your future brighter is the habit of spending time with people you want to emulate. Obviously, you don’t get to pick your coworkers or your neighbors. All of us have to learn to get along with difficult people. But when it comes to those friends that you choose to draw close to you, start looking for ways to bring admirable people into your inner circle. Seek out friends who are doing the things you want to do and succeeding in those areas of life where you want to succeed. Your friends will dictate your future in a very big way.

The Course You Travel

Have you ever driven on a dirt road that had two ruts for the tires on your car or truck? If so, have you ever noticed how deep those ruts can get when the same cars drive on them day after day? Well, our habits are a lot like those ruts. The more we give in to our habits, the more deeply entrenched they become in our lives. And when it seems like our lives are going around in circles and we are making no progress toward our goals, we refer to this as “being in a rut.”

So habits, like ruts, tend to become more permanent as time goes by. And habits, like ruts, are hard to get out of once we get into them. Habits take you where they want you to go instead of where you want to go. Habits have the power to determine the course you travel in life. A friend of mine once said, “Men do not decide their future. They decide their habits, and their habits decide their future.” And he said this because the habits you form today have the power to determine the outcome of your life tomorrow the same way that those ruts have the power to determine the destination of your vehicle.

So if you know where you want to go with your life, you need to start developing the kind of habits right now that will write the storyline of your future success. You need to pave the way for a smooth journey forward instead of allowing your bad habits to direct you where they want to take you.

The best way to neutralize the bad habits in your life is to form better habits in their place. So get out of your rut. Build a new future and a new life by creating some better habits.

Have You Ever Watched the Winter Olympics?

If so, you have probably watched the figure skating competition, because this event is one of the most popular at the winter games. This event lasts a couple of days because the participants are required to go through two grueling competitions, both of which are designed to test different aspects of the skaters’ skills.

Life Is a Contact Sport

But what do I mean by that?

All of us know the difference between a contact sport and a non-contact sport. Golf is a non-contact sport, as is tennis, bowling, archery, and swimming. In these sports and others like them, the participants perform certain actions that require great skill, and their success is compared with the success of the other competitors by means of a point system that determines the winner.

Pivot Points

A lifetime is filled with many experiences that become “pivot points” in a person’s destiny. Sometimes these “pivot points” can take a person down a pathway of blessing that he could never have imagined when he started the journey. But at other times, life can take a person down a highway that leads to disappointment and tragedy. That is why all of us need a second shot at life. In some area of your life, you need an opportunity to make something right that has gone wrong.

IT’S AMAZING HOW MANY SPORTS DEPEND ON POSITIONING.

Basketball is an obvious example, because a player who gets loose for a shot beneath the basket is in a far better position than the player who is double-teamed at mid-court, and the player who is positioned for a rebound following a missed free throw is in a far better position than the player who is ten feet from the basket when the shot is missed.

HAVE YOU EVER COMPETED IN A MARATHON?

If not, have you ever attended a marathon or watched footage of a marathon? If you have ever been associated with a marathon—even remotely—you know that very few participants express any hope of winning the race. Most participants in a marathon simply want to finish the course.

“NO MAN IS AN ISLAND.”

This famous saying dates back to the seventeenth century, but the thought that it conveys is as relevant today as it was when it was first written. No person can achieve anything meaningful in life without the contributions of other people. To succeed at reaching your goals, therefore, you must learn to appreciate the people God has placed in your life.

Do You Have a Good Sense of Timing?

Think about all the wonderful things that have happened in your life. Think about the day you found your job. Think about the day you met your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, or your girlfriend. Think about the day you met your best friend or the day you bought your house.

Reject the Comfortable Path

I have said it before, and I will say it again. If you want something different, you have to do something different. You have to break away from conforming and pursue that vision and passion that will fulfill you and make a difference in the world. To do this you must overcome the pull from the world around you to be mediocre.

I love Natalie Coughlin's story as an example of the bravery it takes to overcome. She swam in the Summer Olympics in 2004 and won two gold medals, two silver and one bronze. She also broke a world record. In 2008 she became the first American female athlete to win six medals in a single Olympics. However, because of the wear and tear on her body, she was forced to endure two shoulder surgeries soon after the 2008 Olympics. Typically, someone in this position would expect to retire, or at best still compete but at a lower level. However, Coughlin bravely stepped out of competitive swimming for 18 months to rebuild. She found coach, Teri McKeever, who helped her get back into the elite level of swimming using an unusual approach. Instead of concentrating on rebuilding strength in her upper body, they focused on legs, used Pilates and strengthened the connection between her arms and legs through the core of her body, enhancing her physical abilities for competitive swimming. In 2012, she qualified for the Olympics and took home a twelfth Olympic medal, tying the record for the most Olympic medals for a female US athlete.

If you want to be different, you have to think differently. Break out of the mold. Turn away from doing things the same way everyone else is doing them. People who excel are intentional. They decide on their destination, assess and learn what it will take to get there, find the right people to speak into their journey, and then do what’s necessary to find their way there. A successful person says, “I’m going to do this,” and then starts the process and actually walks the walk – instead of just talking the talk.

Vision evolves but successful people set the destination, work to arrive at that destination, sacrificing time and resources along the way, reevaluate the destination, correct course, sacrifice more time and resources, etc. John Maxwell has stated that there are people who want to be what he is – a successful author, a renowned speaker, a coveted mentor, and much more. But his reaction to someone who has that dream is “Are you willing to do what I did?”

Once you have a clear vision, develop the plan, begin taking the steps and then be prepared to actively reject everything that works to hold you back. You will be told you can’t do it. You will be told it’s too much, too hard, not worth it. But I think, if it is a vision and a passion within you, that there is possibly a higher purpose that is attached to it and it is absolutely worth exploring and pursuing. In fact, the more obstacles you face, the more likely you are to come up with a new way of accomplishing what you have in your heart to accomplish. Reject the comfortable path and be courageous.

An adult wants to know that his or her life has counted for something; that their life has made a difference in the world. Do you want to live an extraordinary life, do extraordinary things, achieve your goals and leave your mark on the world? Then you will have to do what others aren’t doing – as early as possible. If you wait for the rest of the world to find value in the things you want to do, those things won’t be worth doing any longer. Muster courage to forego fitting in with those around you and pursue your heart’s passion. If you do, you will find yourself in places others dared not to go.

Tiny Actions

What are your goals in life? When it comes to the most important aspects of your future, what are the things you hope to achieve? In regards to your health, do you have goals, or do you simply hope that your health will last? When it comes to your finances, do you have goals, or do you simply hope that things will work themselves out? When it comes to your relationships and your dreams, do you have goals to achieve the things that intrigue you, or do you simply hope that things will fall into place for you?

If you have goals in any area of your life, you should know that you will only achieve those goals by developing the kinds of habits that will make your dreams come true. Let me give you an analogy to illustrate my point.

Your life is a precious thing, and you only get to live it once. But your life is composed of years, and your years are composed of months, and your months are composed of days. In a sense, therefore, your life is just a big collection of a whole lot of days. So the way you live all those individual days will determine the outcome of your entire life, because your days are the building blocks of your life.

In the same way, your goals are composed of a whole lot of tiny actions that you perform on a daily basis. If you have habits that compel you to perform the right kinds of actions each day, your life will be a steady journey toward your goals. But if you have habits that compete with your goals or that hinder you in the pursuit of your goals, your life will be frustrating, because your goals will never be achieved. Your habits, therefore, are the building blocks of your dreams.

Connect to Your Destiny

I have found in my research and study that, no matter what a person’s belief system is, most agree that our thoughts shape our life and destiny. There is a clear connection between thinking and behavior and, a person’s behavior is always connected to the outcome of that person’s life.

Those who believe in God, believe that our origins are in Him, and because our lives have their origins in God, our lives also have real purpose. We were created for a reason, with forethought and intentionality. We came from somewhere and we are definitely going somewhere. However, in spite of our origins and God’s specific plan, the fact remains that we hold the keys to our own destiny.

Colleen Moore has a website where she shares information, advice, and positive perspective. One story that caught my eye was about a man named Michael. Michael was one who could easily get under your skin. He was too nice, too happy, and too good. He always found a way to see the positive in every situation, even if it was a negative situation or conversation. Michael was asked by one of his coworkers, “How can you be so positive all the time?” Michael explained that his attitude was a choice. He had learned that both good and bad are going to happen, but that he had the power to choose whether he would be a positive person or a negative person regardless of circumstances. He decided he did not want to waste his life waiting for things to change so he adopted the mindset to be positive every day.

Sometime after this conversation, the lady who had asked Michael about his consistently upbeat demeanor decided to follow up and see how he was doing. It turned out Michael had been severely injured in an accident. He had fallen sixty feet from a communications tower. He had endured eighteen hours of surgery and a lengthy stay in an ICU. He survived the fall, but was destined to live the rest of his life with discomfort and limited mobility. When she was able to connect face to face with Michael, she asked how he was. His response? “If I were any better, I’d be twins.” Then he offered to show her his scars!

As they talked about the accident, he told her that when he was laying on the ground, his first thought went to his soon-to-be-born daughter. His second thought was that he had two choices: he could choose to live, or he could choose to die. He told her that the paramedics were great, successfully getting him to the hospital and encouraging him on the way, but when they wheeled him into emergency and he saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses. That’s when he got really scared. He could see in their eyes, “He’s a dead man.” As the nurse was excitedly interviewing him to prep him for surgery, she asked if he was allergic to anything. He responded with “yes” and the room got quiet as everyone listened for what he was allergic to. He took a deep breath in that moment and said, “Gravity”. Then, over their laughter, he told them, “I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.” Michael pulled through - seriously wounded from the accident - but fully alive in every sense of the word and fully convinced that his choices made the difference between life and death.

In Matthew 8:13 (NASB), Jesus stated, “It shall be done for you as you have believed.” This tells me that there is a fixed law in God’s creation. It says beliefs lead to aftereffects, and thoughts lead to outcomes. Therefore, we can build our lives on this law. We can “bank” on this law just like we bank on the outcome of gravity! Make your choice today. People who comprehend the connection between their thinking and their behavior, their beliefs and the outcome of their lives will taste the ultimate life.

Today, I want to talk about pride. A message on pride, for purposes of actual change in people’s lives, is a frustrating topic because the people who need to hear it don’t think it’s for them. I want to challenge you as you read this article to be open to considering that you have a little bit of pride. Keep in mind that if you’re not open to receiving this message you probably need to hear it.

Most of us don’t typically see pride as a real sin. But God detests pride (Proverbs 16:5). No one wants God to look at us like we’re detestable! But, we tend to dismiss pride as a sin. For a different perspective, what if I was talking about lust and I admitted to checking people out. Your response would be “that’s gross” and you wouldn’t want to hear from me anymore. Pride is just as bad. 

Pride is not necessarily ego. Pride is tricky and can manifest by drawing attention to yourself by appearing pathetic. The end result is you are still after people’s attention for yourself. Our job is to put all attention on God. We want to show off who He is. Are you worried about what people are thinking about you all the time? You may be struggling with pride. 

Pride is a pervasive matter. No one wants to admit to it. Honestly, it’s easier for me to admit to it when I’m writing a message about it. Pride is usually why we get our feelings hurt and why we feel rejection. Pride is the reason we can’t admit to making a mistake. Pride causes us to take ourselves a little too seriously. We will resent criticism if we are prideful. Insecurity is a result of pride because we are seeking for others to notice and praise us. Pride causes us to see ourselves as overly important or more special to God than others. Pride will make us want to blame others for our problems.

So, what made Jesus mad? I've been processing this the last few weeks in my series “Angry Jesus.” I saw a church sign the other day. It said, “We love hurting people.” I realized as I read it that if you accent different words in the sentence, you get a different message. The truth of the matter is, I have heard so many stories over the last few weeks, and of course over 30 years of ministry, of how the church has hurt people. Ironically, that's what was going on back in Jesus' day. Today I want to focus on John 8, my favorite story. It's about a woman caught in the act of adultery. We do not know who she was, but for today, I’m calling her “Janice”.

“The religious scholars and Pharisees led in a woman who had been caught in an act of adultery. They stood her in plain sight of everyone and said, “Teacher, this woman was caught red-handed in the act of adultery. Moses, in the Law, gives orders to stone such persons. What do you say?” (John 8:3-5).This story has inspired a new word, "gracism." It's just as dumb as racism, but it's not about the color of a person’s skin or where they come from. It's based on the color of the sin they are guilty of. If I'm going to look down on you because of something that you've done, disregarding what I’ve done, this is what I call “gracism” Your sin is not any different than my sin. There are no different levels of sin. Lying seems worse than gluttony and murder seems worse than adultery. I get that thinking. But I have no right to stand and gloat because I think my sin is less than someone else’s sin. That makes me a “gracist”.

Here's the truth: "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." A later, scripture says, "And the wages of sin is death." What does that mean?All sin is mortal - murder and adultery, gluttony and lying. Jesus grew up with a mom who felt like Janice, right? People called Jesus an illegitimate child. Mary was pregnant with Jesus out of wedlock. Whether it was her fiancé or someone else, it was against the law. And I believe that childhood experience of growing up with a mom who He knew was holy and loved by God, but who people judged and condemned, gave Him a deeper level of compassion as He dealt with the people He encountered.

COURAGE IS FEAR HOLDING ON A MINUTE LONGER.

—GEORGE S. PATTON

Have you ever noticed what really frightens you? Is there anything that really makes you stop in your tracks. shutting you down mentally? Most people have numerous fears, both identified and unidentified. It’s a miracle that we function at all sometimes.